Bitter Texas Honey

Joan stopped astatine a state position successful Waco to alteration into her rodeo clothes—a skintight achromatic minidress, turquoise earrings pinch dangling achromatic feathers, and achromatic cowboy boots. On her measurement out, she bought a vessel of Sprite, which she half emptied onto nan pavement, past filled to nan brim pinch vodka that she kept successful her trunk.

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A small past six, she met her favourite cousin, Wyatt, successful nan parking batch of his flat complex. For nan past 3 years, he’d been surviving here, successful his friend’s eating room, ever since getting kicked retired of her dad’s location successful Dallas. Before that, Wyatt had lived pinch various different friends and family members, including pinch Joan’s relative successful North Carolina, wherever Wyatt tried to termination himself. Now he desperately wanted to subordinate nan marines.

The aerial was overmuch colder up successful Fort Worth. Joan shivered, her activity visible, stepping toward Wyatt’s idling car, taking ample gulps of her vodka Sprite.

“How overmuch for nan night?” Wyatt shouted done nan rolled‑ down rider window. A power DJ’s sound emanated from nan car astatine an absurd volume.

“Ten thousand,” Joan said, and gave him nan mediate finger. “Sold!” Wyatt exclaimed. She climbed into his beat‑up, pewter‑colored Nissan Maxima, which had been talented to him by his brother‑in‑law aft he totaled their grandfather’s pickup truck. The car was dented connected each broadside and looked for illustration it had been successful a demolition derby aliases a 100 hailstorms. Wyatt was underdressed, arsenic usual, wearing a achromatic Smoothie King T‑shirt from his erstwhile job, bluish jeans, and achromatic high‑top sneakers, untied.

“You sewage your braces off,” Joan said.

“Yep,” Wyatt said, and smiled big. He had gotten braces voluntarily astatine twenty‑one to hole a minor, hardly noticeable cosmetic rumor pinch his canines, puzzling everyone successful nan family and making him look fourteen years old.

“Looking good,” Joan said.

Wyatt’s beforehand licence plate, dangling by a azygous screw, scraped nan pavement arsenic he drove retired of nan parking batch and turned onto nan street. The power was stuck, playing a state euphony position astatine afloat volume. Earlier that day, he explained, each nan buttons had stopped moving astatine erstwhile successful this unfortunate position. It was this euphony aliases thing astatine all.

“Quite nan dilemma!” Joan yelled.

He swerved and deed a curb connected purpose. Joan gripped nan grip supra her window, her knuckles white. Wyatt threw his caput backmost and erupted successful a heavenly cackle, until eventually, Joan relaxed and started laughing too. How could she beryllium acrophobic successful nan look of specified un‑ bridled joyousness and destruction?

She jotted nan segment down successful her notebook nan remainder of nan way, reasoning Wyatt’s car mightiness beryllium a bully awesome to usage successful nan caller communicative she would nonstop Roberto, someway representing antheral angst and con‑ fusion successful modern America, for illustration Dennis Prager talked about. She wasn’t judge really Wyatt’s car would thief illuminate her narrator’s “in‑ ner life.” But she could robust that retired later.

Wyatt, still giddy from nan excitement of nan fender bender, sang on to “Born Country” by Alabama arsenic he turned into nan parking lot, past backed difficult into a cement rod earlier pulling neatly into a space. Joan’s vessel of vodka Sprite spilled each complete nan floorboard and her cowboy boots. Wyatt turned disconnected nan car and a jarring soundlessness overtook them.

“You made maine spill my vodka, fuck face,” Joan said, wiping disconnected her boots, her ears still ringing from nan music.

“Sorry. Guess you’ll person to woody pinch existent life a small longer,” Wyatt said successful his chipper way.

“That sounds terrible,” Joan said. She hated “real life.” They sewage retired of nan car to measure and respect nan caller assemblage damage.

They walked on nan redbrick sidewalk, past nan stockyards and footwear shops and barbecue restaurants.

“How’s your book going?” Wyatt asked. When they concisely lived together astatine her dad’s, nan summertime aft she was pulled retired of Miami, they’d talked astir penning astir each day. Together they conceived dozens of ideas for brilliant, edgy films, hilarious skits, and heartbreak‑ ing songs. Of course, they had ne'er travel adjacent to finishing anything. Joan explained that she was moving connected thing new, a short story. She told him astir Roberto, whom she wanted to impress. “He wants to spot thing that showcases my narrator’s ‘inner life’ aliases something,” Joan said pinch a shrug.

“Inner life? That’s easy,” Wyatt said. “Just constitute thing astir love.”

Joan scrunched up her face. “I ne'er constitute astir that benignant of stuff.” “Why? Isn’t emotion nan astir cosmopolitan taxable location is?” Wyatt began singing nan emotion medley from Moulin Rouge, 1 of his favourite films. When they lived together, Wyatt had watched nan movie each time each time for 5 days straight, until he had each nan lines and lyrics memorized.

“Maybe . . .” Joan said pinch hesitation. She felt that Wyatt was be‑ ing naïve. He’d ever been a hopeless romantic, obsessed pinch their grandparents’ fifty‑year matrimony and still hung up connected his precocious schoolhouse girlfriend. Sure, emotion was a bully taxable for musicals and Disney films, but not for literate fiction. She wanted her activity to beryllium considered “high art.” Besides, emotion had ever been nan astir embarrassing portion of Joan’s life. Something to conceal, not showcase.

“What astir you?” Joan asked, changing nan subject. “You penning anything?”

Wyatt told Joan he’d been moving connected a caller opus and asked if she would return a look astatine nan lyrics. He was fundamentally a euphony prodigy who had taught himself to play nan guitar and nan soft by nan clip he was ten, but he had ever struggled pinch words.

“Let’s see,” Joan said. Wyatt handed her a warm, crumpled‑up portion of notebook paper. The title, “Vines,” was written astatine nan apical successful messy, childlike scrawl. As usual, nan lyrics appeared to beryllium astir his ex‑girlfriend from precocious school, Ruby, a petite woman pinch a level impact and an encyclopedic knowledge of nan Dallas Cowboys.

Joan stopped stepping to read. The page contained respective inscru‑ array words, pronunciation errors, full crossed‑out lines. Sometimes, erstwhile trying to publication Wyatt’s handwriting, Joan wondered if he had immoderate benignant of undiagnosed learning disability. But aft a minute, she understood. He’d written a beautiful straightforward metaphor astir vines increasing retired of Ruby and pursuing him everywhere. No matter wherever he went aliases really galore times he severed them, nan vines ever returned and wrapped themselves astir his body, squeezing him for illustration a boa constrictor, truthful tight he couldn’t respire aliases move anymore. It publication much for illustration a scary communicative than a emotion song.

“Try to get much specific,” Joan said, handing him nan portion of paper. “Like, what benignant of vine is this? Poison ivy? Grapes? Something else?” They passed by an tremendous Texas longhorn wearing a saddle, a statement of municipality Texans successful occidental cosplay waiting to return pictures connected its back. Wyatt stopped stepping and squinted astatine nan portion of paper, arsenic if nan reply to Joan’s questions were hidden there. Joan loved nan measurement Wyatt took her feedback truthful seriously. More than anyone other successful nan family, he seemed to spot her for nan awesome writer she was destined to be. He made her consciousness wise and authoritative, for illustration a seasoned imaginative penning professor alternatively of immoderate loser who couldn’t decorativeness her novel.

“Probably thing pinch thorns,” Wyatt said. “Roses?”

“Too cliché,” Joan said.

“I’ve sewage it,” he said pinch a jolt. “Blackberry vines.”

“That could work,” Joan said.

As children, she and Wyatt and nan remainder of their cousins had har‑ vested nan dark, saccharine consequence that grew on nan pasture fences successful nan summertime astatine their grandparents’ sprawling West Texas ranch.

“She’s sweet, but she’s sharp,” Wyatt said, excited now. “I for illustration nan sensation of her, but she hurts me. She makes maine bleed. Oh! And her hairsbreadth and eyes are black.”

“That’s good. Write that down.” Joan handed him her pen, and Wyatt scribbled nan connection blackberry at nan apical of nan page. Joan could do this each day, she thought. With Wyatt, it was nan process of cre‑ ation that she enjoyed, not nan extremity product, which for them ne'er manifested. But that didn’t matter. She felt a pang of sadness that they nary longer lived nether nan aforesaid roof. Wyatt crumpled nan insubstantial backmost up and shoved it into his pouch arsenic they ascended nan stairs of nan Cowtown Coliseum.

*

Inside nan arena, nan West family took up 2 rows of greenish metallic chairs. Their grandparents, Wyatt’s mother and 3rd stepdad, his siblings and their spouses and children, and their aunt and uncle and cousins were each there. Joan’s begetter was location too, pinch a female she had ne'er seen successful her life, a brunette he introduced arsenic Jelly Bean. Jelly Bean worked arsenic nan receptionist for nan California branch of her dad’s business—a for‑profit profession assemblage called Audio Professional Academy (AudioPro) that taught group to grounds and nutrient their ain music.

“Meet your caller mommy,” her dada joked erstwhile Joan shook nan woman’s clammy hand. This was nan aforesaid point he said astir each his caller girlfriends.

“Welcome to Texas,” Joan said flatly, earlier squeezing past Jelly Bean to beryllium adjacent her grandmother, Mama, and Wyatt’s mother, who were successful nan mediate of a passionate chat astir Barack Obama and really unspeakable he was for nan country. Mama was confiding successful hushed tones that Obama was not only incompetent, he was nan literal Antichrist. She was reference a book that explained it successful detail. “It’s each coming true,” Mama said successful her soft confederate drawl. “Everything successful Revelation is happening earlier our eyes.”

“Well, he’s decidedly not a Christian,” Wyatt’s mother replied successful partial agreement.

Screens astir nan auditorium lit up pinch integer American flags, flapping successful integer upwind while an fierce post‑9/11 opus played complete nan loudspeakers. Joan surveyed nan crowd, a oversea of Wrangler jeans and sparkling belts, shirts adorned pinch gaudy crosses, animal prints, and brew logos. Toby Keith’s deep, velvety sound filled nan arena pinch quips astir bombing nan Middle East. As tacky arsenic it each was, location was thing oddly comforting astir being here, distant from nan wide bubble of Austin. Joan loved nan acquainted smell of soft ungraded and manure, nan tucked‑in shirts and boots and swagger.

“Cap‑and‑trade’s gonna tally nan system into nan ground,” Joan’s grandfather, Papa, said pinch a detached certainty. He was a petroleum geologist who’d begun his profession astatine Texaco successful nan fifties earlier being poached by a backstage lipid and state company. He still collected hefty royalty checks connected each nan wells he’d discovered—in Midland and Alaska and nan North Sea. He was chewing connected a toothpick, wearing a suede cowboy chapeau and an tremendous metallic loop buckle adorned pinch nan missive W. “That, aliases we tally retired of lipid altogether. Doesn’t matter overmuch to me.” Papa shrugged. “I’ll beryllium dormant present beautiful soon. But you need to deliberation astir it.” He winked astatine Joan and she smiled. She appreciated nan calm, easygoing measurement her grandfather approached every‑ thing, including society’s imminent collapse.

“Obama’s gonna unopen maine down!” Joan’s dada interjected. His waste and acquisition schoolhouse was taxable to dense regularisation by nan Department of Education. When Obama first took power, things sewage overmuch worse for her dada financially. He’d been forced to prosecute respective administrators conscionable to support up pinch each nan paperwork. “He wants to propulsion group for illustration maine successful jail!” Joan ignored her dad’s comment. Of course, he was exaggerating.

But she didn’t opportunity so. She didn’t want to springiness him nan pleasance of an argument. Besides, she understood nan overarching constituent he was try‑ ing to make. The regulations were unfair successful that they applied only to for‑profits, not organization colleges aliases universities. He was criminally liable if his schoolhouse didn’t abide by nan rules. And large authorities was the force of nan people. She heard astir it connected nan power each nan time. To support nan speech flowing, Joan added 1 of her ain gripes pinch Obama into nan family pile‑on.

“His healthcare scheme is going to destruct nan aesculapian occupation and move america into nan adjacent Cuba,” she declared. “We’ll astir apt each dice connected waiting lists to spot our doctors, who will each suck arsenic by then, because location will beryllium nary inducement to activity difficult successful med school.”

Papa smiled pinch a shine successful his eye. “Joan’s sewage her caput connected straight,” he said to Mama, past turned to Joan. “Thank deity we sewage you retired of Miami erstwhile we did.”

Mama leaned complete and squeezed Joan’s hand. She looked glamorous successful a sparkling apical and bold magenta lipstick. She smelled of fresh, costly powder.

“It’s truthful bully to person you backmost home,” she said. “Back to your roots.”

Joan smiled. It felt bully to beryllium successful sync pinch her family again. Being a bisexual leftist had made family events awkward and unduly stress‑ ful. In Miami, Joan had publication nan communist manifesto and had been convinced that group for illustration Mama, Papa, and her begetter were evil oppressors. Now that she was conservative, these gatherings could beryllium relaxing, moreover fun. Joan ordered a immense brew and a large puff of fabric candy from a man stepping astir successful a reddish Dickies T‑shirt. She chugged her brew arsenic she watched a rodeo comedian dancing to “Cotton Eye Joe” successful nan halfway of nan arena.

Wyatt, uninvested successful politics, was successful nan statement beneath her talking pinch his brother‑in‑law, troubleshooting his dire financial situation. He really needed to get his ducks successful a row, according to nan marines recruiter he’d been talking with. Wyatt owed money to beautiful overmuch each personnel of nan West family, arsenic good arsenic nan IRS, respective big‑box stores, in installments paper companies, his orthodontist, and nan Duke University Hospital, wherever he stayed for 2 weeks aft his termination attempt. He besides had 2 warrants retired for his apprehension for unpaid parking tickets, which nan recruiter was helping him return attraction of. Wyatt’s brother‑in‑ rule was emphasizing to Wyatt not to disclose that he’d gone to nan infirmary astatine Duke aliases that he’d gone to rehab afterward.

In nan halfway of nan arena, a group of agrarian inferior precocious students chased a terrified calf around. After a fewer minutes, a boy tackled nan animal, slamming its assemblage into nan crushed and wrapping its legs quickly pinch a rope. The crowd shouted and hooted and hollered. Poor cows, Joan thought, nan fabric candy dissolving into sweetener connected her tongue. The world was truthful sadistic to them.

The lights went down, and nan full coliseum went acheronian and quiet. “God Bless nan USA” began to play. A female connected a achromatic equine rode slow astir nan ungraded successful ample circles, her posture upright. She looked elegant successful her bluish sequined top, but besides commanding, hold‑ ing nan reins successful 1 hand, and successful nan other, a comically ample Ameri‑ tin flag. The female leaned guardant arsenic nan equine began to trot, past canter, past gallop. The emblem flapped wildly successful nan aerial arsenic nan opus deed an affectional crescendo.

Joan turned to Wyatt, reasoning they mightiness stock a look, flick nosy astatine nan over‑the‑top song. But Wyatt was swept up successful his ain uni‑ verse, opinionated and singing on pinch animated passion, tapping retired nan hit connected his chest. He looked almost for illustration he did astatine their grand‑ parents’ Baptist shelter revivals, wherever he ever had aggravated belief experiences, crying connected his knees successful beforehand of nan walking evangelists, while Joan would beryllium arsenic acold backmost successful nan shelter arsenic possible, her arms crossed, emotion numb.

Joan watched nan female connected nan equine again. The arena was pitch‑ acheronian now, a azygous spotlight pursuing her. She had to admit it was impressive: nan horse’s velocity and nan measurement nan female was truthful connected to and successful bid of nan animal. The opus excessively was catchy and moving. Joan remembered coming to these rodeos arsenic a child, erstwhile a cowgirl was each she wanted to be. Not a writer. Not an artist. Just a female connected a horse, sparkling. It had seemed for illustration specified a elemental and beautiful beingness backmost then. When nan opus yet ended, earlier nan rodeo officially began, everyone successful nan arena bowed their heads arsenic nan announcer started successful prayer. The men removed their hats and placed them complete their hearts.

Dear Heavenly Father, nan announcer said. As cowboys, we don’t ask for much.

__________________________________

From Bitter Texas Honey by Ashley Whitaker. Used pinch support of nan publisher, Dutton. Copyright © 2025 by Ashley Whitaker.